MeToo has given women a louder voice in the arena of sexual politics. Now, thanks to MeToo - and activists and journalists - we're seeing female sexuality as its own thing, not an extension of male desire." "It was very heteronormative and male-focused. "That was how it was in Hollywood that was how it was wherever men had power. "Female sexuality used to be women being sexy for men," she says. Martin believes that the MeToo movement has also been behind the shifting sands. We've also had an MP, Labour's Jess Phillips, saying schoolgirls should be taught about orgasms. In the former, a married couple try out consensual non-monogamy to reignite their dull sex lives in the latter, a female assassin's potent bisexuality and rotating cast of bed partners is almost incidental. Two of the most talked-about BBC dramas of the autumn, Wanderlust and Killing Eve, had central characters who rejected traditional relationships. This year has seen, if not an explosion, then at least a creeping insinuation into our culture of the idea that monogamy might not be the only approach to long-term relationships. Martin, whose 2015 book Primates of Park Avenue: A Memoir became a New York Times bestseller, is not alone in her espousal of such ideas. Many experts now believe monogamy is a tighter fit for women than for men. "We might have said before, 'oh well, that's because women like sex less than men do, but now the new data is helping us understand it's not that women like sex less than men, it's that men are better at wanting what they already have, and women struggle more with the same old familiar partner over and over." "In one study tapered off slowly over seven years, whereas female desire plunged in the first one to four years," she says. To support this theory, she draws on a range of relatively recent scientific and social scientific studies, as well as interviews with experts on female infidelity in a range of fields, and plenty of "untrue" women themselves. Starting from the premise that we're only now beginning to understand women's sexuality properly, she explains that contrary to popular opinion, women tire of their sexual partners faster than men, and need just as much sexual adventure and novelty as their male counterparts - if not more. Martin, when we meet at a boutique hotel in South Kensington during her visit to London from the US, has plenty of answers. You'd have one if, say, you were into polyamory, which involves having "intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved".Ĭonfused yet? Or just wondering how all the logistics would work, never mind how on earth to broach the topic with your significant other? This, for the uninitiated, is an agreement between partners that one or both may sleep with other people.
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